The news of the price controlls hit the papers early this morning, it was absolute chaos... as I drove my motorcycle in to work I hit a traffic jam of cars lined up for miles waiting for their place at the gas station... last I heard gas purchases were being limited to 2 gallons per customer- just enough to take my bike to the other side of the island, or enough to take a Hummer 200 yards.

As I write this, Hawaiian society is breaking down- my neighbors and I have formed an armed militia to guard our road from marauders intent on siphoning gas from our cars in the dark of night- reports of looting are nonstop... all contact has been lost with Hilo. The National guard has been called up in Kona- there are reports that dozens of gas hungry SUV owners were massacred as they stormed a Shell gas station. Killed by the National Guard sharpshooters... The local government has taken control of the media to prevent the news from getting out.

After only 8 hours of chaos I came home to see my neighbors stripping wood from their houses to build fires on which to roast their housepets for food...

Pray for me people, we are facing the dark ages!

The above was satire- I feel the need to explain that for some people. Dont worry- I won't name names, Lindy...