If your faith is unshakable that the Invisible Hand will smite uppity workers who think their pay is unconscionably unlivable, why get your knickers in a knot? Why not indulge them their little vanity so they'll shut up?

'Course, I'm afraid that faith is terribly misplaced. Your idea of justice would only be served if fast food accounted for the entire economy, with everyone working there, and everyone eating there. But in real life, an increase in one cost component in one minor (single-digit) segment of the economy will simply result in a little readjustment of the economy, kind of like a fat person wiggling his butt to settle into a cushion.

There have been several studies trying to gauge the impact of livable wages in fast food. Their estimates vary fairly widely, but the highest of them says that doubling the average wage of a burger-flipper will add about 60 cents to the cost of a meal. How will that cause economic Armageddon?

I fall off the nutritional wagon about once a week and indulge in a greaseburger. That means that for about $2.50 a month, I can support doubling the wages of a couple of dozen workers at this one joint. That makes American fast food workers a better bargain than starving orphans in Central America, whom, Sally Struthers used to assure me on late-night infomercials, I could support for $15/month/each.

That's what you're upset about: a sixty-cent pimple on the butt of the economy. For god's sake, let them be able to buy food for their kids and put a roof over their heads! It won't cause you even the slightest inconvenience, I promise.