Date: August 16th, 2006
To: Mr. Jeffery F****
From: Internal Revenue Service
Re: Unpaid property taxes

It has come to our attention that as of the date 12/21/05 you became the sole owner of the stellar object located at Right Ascension 9h29m20s, Declination 58 degress 54 minutes in the constellation of Ursa Major. You failed to declare this on your most recent tax statement.

As you are no doubt aware, the 2005 tax code clearly states in Book 12, section 328, Sub-section 45, paragraph 73, line 14: "Any owner of extra-planetary property (Defined in Book 12, section 327, Sub-section 125, paragraph 76, line 124 as: Any object made of baryonic matter located beyond the surface of the planet commonly referred to as 'Earth'; including, but not limited to: Asteroids, Comets, Moons, Planets, Nebulae, Stars, Neutron stars, Black holes, Globular clusters, Galaxies, and Galactic clusters ) shall be responsible for property taxes of not less than .1 cents per cubic mile of aforementioned property)"

Our auditors have determined that your property located at Right Ascension 9h29m20s, Declination 58 degress 54 minutes in the constellation of Ursa Major is a star very much similar to our sun, using this as a basis for our calculations we have determined that the volume of your property is at least 3.4*10^17 cubic miles (If your property becomes a Red Giant, this value will have to be readjusted). We are hereby giving you notice that you are delinquent in your taxes to the sum of $3.4*10^14, or 340 trillion dollars. Please contact us immediately to make payment arrangements* or we will be forced to take further action such as garnishment of wages or seizing of Earthly property.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

*The US Internal Revenue Service accepts Discover, Master Card, Visa, and Altairan Express credit cards...