Andy Borowitz, 27 June 2006

http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_38073.shtml

'A Really Convenient Truth' Set For Nationwide Release

By: Andy Borowitz

In an attempt to counteract the impact of former Vice President Al Gore's
cautionary film about global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth," Vice President
Dick Cheney is starring in a new film advocating global warming, Mr. Cheney
confirmed today.

The Cheney film, entitled "A Really Convenient Truth," will open in theaters
nationwide in time for the fall 2006 midterm elections.

"I saw the Al Gore movie, and quite frankly, the whole thing was a downer from
the word go," Mr. Cheney said at a White House press briefing. "I thought it was
time to tell the American people the good news about global warming."

"The truth is, as the entire world turns into a red-hot tropical zone, it will
be possible to go on vacation wherever you are," Mr. Cheney added. "When was the
last time you wanted to take a vacation on a glacier?"

The vice president added that soon it will be so hot everywhere in the country
that it will no longer be necessary to go to Florida for vacation, adding,
"which is a good thing, because no one can afford to drive to Florida anymore."

Mr. Cheney said he would show his film to the U.S. Supreme Court and let the
justices decide whose film is better, his or Mr. Gore's.

At the Supreme Court today, the justices found in favor of Mr. Cheney's film by
a 5-4 vote.

Elsewhere, after a new study showed that boys with older brothers are more
likely to be gay, President Bush proposed a constitutional amendment banning
older brothers.

Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the
author of a new book, The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.