Probably kinder than me.
I might offer the option of surgical removal of hands and tongue.
Followed by owning computers operating at random with no option for input from them.
Having to sit there for 4 hours a day watching.
Maybe reading about all the people making a fortune by spamming, all the little gimmicks, stock options, watches, and how they are appearing on the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
As they eat their vitamin-enriched slurpees.
Came back from 3 weeks gone, everyone knew I was gone. Had 224 emails, 12 valid.
Now that I think about it, maybe their genitals, too.
Arf (Bedtime, Bow!! Past.)