And for those who are serious buyers, I have proposed a collaboration with Fr. Guido Sarducci, who has had unprecedented access to relics in the past. Between the two of us we should be able to meet the needs of the most discriminating purchasers with relics any saint, martyr or just deeply reverent would be proud to own and display in their own sanctuary. Guaranteed to be the real deal, they come with their own Certificate of Authenticity signed by either one or both of us.

If one sends in the dimensions and color required for that "just right" fit for their personal shrine, between the two of us we should be able to come up with just the right item. We also have smaller items suitable for roadside memorials, such as Coke cans from which John Paul II drank. (The wine bottles he used are considered poor form for that purpose except in rural third-world areas without cars, which can't afford them anyway. But we can make pieces of the cork used in the wine bottles available at a price anyone can afford.)

John Paul II would have wanted it this way. He would have wanted the devout to have access to the relics they deserve at a price they can afford but which is still high enough that they would still value their possession. Just give us a check we will hold until payday, and you can be on your way with your relic.

You only have a car title? You have a relic. We like and trust you, and admire your devotion to your faith. Send in your car title signed in the appropriate places, and we will send along a relic chosen just for you. After all, isn't it time you had your very own relic? Of course it is.

As to charges this practice is tawdry, I say "mea culpa". I will add "mea maxima culpa". What are you going to do about it?

Arf