Intelligence and a knack for problem solving is one thing. An interesting thing, and unrelated to an ability to form bonds and trust. A skill and talent not requiring an emotional investment.

Somewhat simply, we have three kinds of roles in life. We have jobs, work, that sort of thing. The most shallow and the easiest to maintain.

Second, we have friendships, which are a little deeper, can change over time.

And third, we have core family relationships, wherein we are husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, and so on. Deeper relationships, we expect and demand more of them.

If one's core family was chaotic in childhood it is likely we will create that situation in our own marriage and family. Not a slam dunk, but will take more work than the others. (And often people recreate their family life in their jobs, but that's another story.)

That can explain why an actor or actresses public life doesn't match their private life.

Very often the people who had the worst childhoods can make the best friends. They've learned that if they are to taste the milk of human kindness they will have to find it outside their families and enter into good friendships. Some of the very best friendships disintegrate when the folks marry and they move to "the next level".

I explained to a friend of mine who is an extremely talented architect, awards all over the place, who is difficult to work with and has a mess of a private life that intelligence is like having a very, very nice car, a Ferrari or Lamborghini. Makes it easy to get around, fast to get around, attracts people, and so on.

But if the driver is nuts - - - - .

Arf