No, but I have a Clunning pan...
...used to cook the various regional dishes long enjoyed by residents of Clun, a quaint hamlet in Shropshire, England.
BTW, I was looking for some closer riff, so I googled "punny tartans". Check it out: There was only one hit, and it was your message. According to the legend, it was picked up just two hours ago, just a few minutes after you posted. Google knows the Zone, and keeps a close watch on us!
