I have just found this job. It is a "dog whisperer". I believe it is an ideal job, one for which I'm uniquely qualified, and I want it.

I would also throw in "cat whisperer", "horse whisperer", sheep, goat, cow, deer, elk, moose, elephant, lion, tiger and so on. For an extra fee I'd try snakes and goldfish, but not with the money-back guarantee I could do with the mammals. Hell, double your money back.

All I need is marketing. I can "whisper" by phone of you have a credit card. I can EVEN "whisper" by email or text if you have a valid credit card. Simply hold the phone next to the animal while asking it several questions with which I will prepare you in advance.

Sigh. My fortune has been awaiting all along.

Arf (means "bye for now" or "end of message")