I was living in California at the time, and one day at work, around the lunch table, I announced to my colleagues that I was on the short list as a yacht navigator for the LA to Hawaii race.

Someone asked me if I could swing the time off from work, and I replied I had plenty of leave time accumulated, and that I had the cash to cover any additional expenses that might come up. Besides, the owner would pay most of the bills. I had talked about it informally with my boss and he did not foresee any particular objections to it. He would even be OK with leave without pay if I got stranded somewhere. I would be gone (counting training and prep time), no more than a couple of months.

One of the engineers, a young woman, then asked, "What does your wife think about all this?"

"We've already talked it over," I replied, "She's all in favor of it; opportunity of a lifetime and all that."

"Of course she's going to say that, she knows how much it means to you, but you're going to be leaving her here all alone, while you're off gallivanting around having a good time."

This got me pretty steamed, "Look, she's a big girl and she can take care of herself, and there will be no financial consequences or any other fundamental inconvenience. Besides, as long as this vacation doesn't introduce any real family hardship, expense, or complications (we have no children), I'm entitled to go anywhere I want, any time. I don't see it at all as a shirking of my obligations."

"Well, I know your wife doesn't work, but she's a student. If my husband pulled a stunt like that, I'd let him know right up front that I thought it was pretty selfish and inconsiderate taking off on his own personal vacation without me, especially since it's one that is potentially dangerous."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, my wife is currently trying to qualify for a special academic program at DeAnza College where she could study in England for a semester next year. I would have to stay here and work, of course, but I might be able to swing a short visit to see her while she's there. It's one place she's always wanted to go, and she has my full support to do so if she gets selected."

And here is where this harpy looked me straight in the eye, and without any hesitation answered, "Yeah, but that's different."