You're lucky. Working for yourself in your own business is true freedom, you are your own man, but you don't have to exploit anyone elses labor for your own benefit, either. BTW, that is not a moral or political judgement, its just the way the system works. Shit just rolls down hill, its a Law of Nature. Still, although it is a tradeoff with great potential rewards, it also has great risks, as I'm sure you have no need to be reminded. I know I couldn't pull it off. I'm a Hobbit, I value security over adventure. I've proved I can handle the latter, but I don't go out of my way looking for it

At least you're lucky that your contract work is in an area where you not only have technical expertise but great personal interest. You do know its only a matter of time before the job is credentialed out of existence, and only those with an MA in graphical design of spacecraft (or book formatting) will be able to get a meaningful job. That's what happened in my field of Geographic Information Systems. Of course, you can come in to the profession through the side or back door, and you'll be able to get a job, but the big bucks and responsible slots are reserved for those with the sheepskins. I know I couldn't start now in my own field if I tried today. They hire people already trained to do the work, not people qualified through prior experience to teach themselves from scratch how to do it like when I got started. My graduate degree was in Geography, and I earned it before GIS was invented.

Still, luck and time work both ways. At least you can say you've worked in a field you like and you're good at. Most people can't say that, and they live lives of quiet desperation. I've been lucky that way too, and in the past I was able to use my knowledge and interests to fill a temporary gap in industry's requirements. Like my friend Roger, who has a similar background and history to mine says, "We just hit the sweet spot".

I congratulate you on your writing career. As you know, I dabbled in the field for a while too, and its a lot of fun, but earning your living that way is a lot of hard work, and I'm basically lazy. (I think the modern, more politically correct term is "burned out".) I couldn't make any real money writing about boating and wildlife, and once I proved I could do it I felt no need to continue. I honestly don't have any BIG IDEAS screaming to become the Great American Novel. I suppose I could write mysteries or cheap Sci-Fi or ghost stories, but that would strictly be for the money, and I don't need any (not that being a novice writer has any guarantee of great financial rewards).

As for the boating, I learned that there are some things just out of reach, and perhaps that is all for the best. Sailing is an expensive, time consuming hobby that very few people have succeeded to leverage into a money-making enterprise. If my wife had been as enthusiastic about it as I was, we might have gone into it together, but as it was, I could tell she was always scared and uncomfortable when we were "out there", even though she never said so. I really had no right to force her into that discipline. Besides, I've been there before.

When I was in college, I used to be in love with sports car racing. I was a pretty active competitor in club events, such as rallys, gymkhanas and autocrosses. I had some talent at it, but I realized to make a success at it, I had to offer up more of my life and resources than I was willing to give up. Earning a living, and taking care of the people you care for takes top priority. Something has to be cut, and I have no regrets. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need. I've made my peace with that.

Renting a boat is not the same as sailing your own. Its like spending the night with a high-priced hooker, or borrowing a Lotus for the afternoon. It might be fun, but it doesn't really count.

There's a lot I set out to do I never got around to. Some of it was because I just didn't have the moxie to pull it off in the first place. Some of it was because I never got the breaks. And some of it was because I just got stoned and I missed it. But over all, I'm pretty happy with what I've accomplished, and proud of how I played the hand I was dealt.

And of course, there are a few things I did I'm really ashamed of and truly sorry for. But at least, I know perfectly well what they are, and I don't make any excuses about them. I'm gonna carry that weight a long time.