By George, I think I've got it!
So, Dave, to recap:
A gormless oik is the British equivalent to the American phrase "rude, crude, vulgar and unattractive". Only stupid too.
Let's see if I have a proper vocabulary exercise here:
"Of the two humanoid crew members on the intergalactic mining ship 'Red Dwarf', both Lister and Rimmer are oiks, but only Rimmer is a gormless oik."
Is "gormful" a word?
...well, I guess it is now... ;)
Thankful regards--
Mary Anne