This spider-guy seems related to the Florida Peter Pan, Tom posted earlier.

Spiderman had Gwen and then Mary Jane Watson. He was hardly one of the gay super heroes.

Now Batman, on the other hand was barred by a Judge from legally adopting Dick Grayson because he was a bachelor - so he simply became his legal guardian or "ward".

We hear that Batman likes catwoman and posibly has relations with Ra's Al Ghul's daughter - but it is clear he is not too comfortable. His Bruce Wayne playboy image which woos the women - he loathes and so we wonder if perhaps this loathing has spread to the women as well.

Then to finally make it clear to the world - Prince performs the Batdance* song and Michael Keaton is chosen as Batman.

Robin: "Holy shocking endings Batman! You mean you're really 'happy' "

Batman: "Don't be too hard on me Robin - The life of a crimefighter often goes with sacrifice and hardship. This lifestyle is not for everyone."

Robin: "What a predicament! I'm leaving - I'm gonna be Batgirl's partner now!"

Batman: "Dick come back!"

Case closed!

Spiderman is exonerated.

SDAI-Tech1

*BATDANCE LYRICS - PRINCE

Oh, I got a live one here!"
Get the funk up!
BATMAN
Get the funk up!
BATMAN
Get the funk up!
"Go, go, go with a smile!"
BATDANCE
Do it
Keep bustin'

["do it" repeated in the background]
I've seen the future and it will be
I've seen the future and it will be
BATMAN, BATMAN
I've seen the future and it will be
BATMAN (house, do it, house)
"And where, and where ... is the BATMAN?"

Do it, do it
let's do it, let's do it
Do it, do it, do it, do it

"Stop the press..."
"Stop the press, who is that?"
"Vicky Vale", "Vicky Vale"
"I like..."
BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN
"Oh - that's nice"
"Hi, Bruce Wayne"
"I've tried to avoid all this, but I can't"
"I just gotta know... are we gonna try 2 love each other?"
"Stop the press - who is that?"
"Vicky Vale"
"She's great, isn't she?"

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
I wanna bust that body
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
I wanna bust that body right
"I'd like 2"
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
"But he's out there right now"
I wanna bust that body
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah 2 night

"Well, miss Vale"
"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?"
"I always ask that of all my pray."
"I just like the sound of it."
(screams)

"I've got 2 go 2 work"
BATMAN
"I've got 2 go 2 work"
BATMAN
If a man is considered guilty
WORK!
4 what goes on in his mind
WORK!
Then gimme the electric chair
WORK!
4 all my future crimes-OH
WORK!
Electric chair

Hey Ducky, let me stick the 7-inch
In the computer
HA, HA, HA
Hey, we got the power
Oh, we got the soul
Hey, we got to sho'nuff get off
2 make the devil go, go

"This town needs an enema!"

"I'm gonna kill U"
POWER
"I'm not gonna kill U"
SOUL
"I'm gonna kill U"
POWER
"I'm not gonna kill U"
SOUL
Let's do it
"I'm BATMAN"
BATMAN
Don't stop dancin'
"I'm BATMAN"
BATMAN
Don't stop dancin'
Do it, do it, do it, do it
BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN
Don't stop, don't stop
Let's do it
Don't stop dancin'
Let's do it, BATMAN
Let's do it, BATMAN
Don't stop dancin'
Don't stop dancin'
No, damn it! Turn the music back up!
You son of a bitch!

"Have you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?"

Who's gonna stop 200 balloons?
Nobody!
Batman
Stop!