From Chaucer's "The Miller's Tale," translated (thank goodness) from Middle English--Absolon gets the full moon treatment from the girl of his dreams:

"Get away from that window, Jack fool," she said;
"So help me god, it will not be 'come kiss me.'
I love another--else I would be to blame--
Another much better than you, by Jesus, Absolon.
Get on your way, or I will throw a stone,
And let me sleep, in the Devil's name!"



"Alas," said Absolon, and "welladay,
That true love was ever so ill used!
Then kiss me, since it can be no better,
For the love of Jesus, and for the love of me."

"Will you go away then?" said she.

"Yes, certainly, lover," said Absolon.

"Then get ready," said she, "I'm coming."

And to Nicholas she said quietly,
Now hush, and you shall laugh your fill."

Absolon got down on his knees
And said, "I am a lord of all ranks;
For after this I hope there comes more.
Lover, your grace, and sweet bird, your favor!"

She opened the window in haste.
"Get on with it," said she, "come on, and get on with it
Or the neighbors might see you."
Absolon wiped his mouth dry.

The night was as dark as pitch, or as coal,
And out the window she stuck her hole,
And Absolon it befell no better or worse,
But with his mouth he kissed her naked arse,
Savoring it before he knew what it was.
Back he jumped and thought it was strange,
For well he knew a woman has no beard.
He felt a thing all rough and long haired
And said, "Fie! Alas! what have I done?"

"Tee hee!" said she, and slammed the window shut.

Absolon went forth on his sorrowful way.



The entire story is recommended--it is a hoot. I have a treasured version illustrated by Gilbert Shelton of "Freak Brothers" fame.