In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful, but the Not-so-Generous provider of competent Iraqi web site designers...

You, the evil yet devilishly talented Western tool of Satan, shall muster a great force and design and maintain for me, the glorious, divine imperial ruler of Iraq, the mother of all kick-ass web sites, showing me the President Saddam Hussein in all my glory and magnificence, even when I don that funny looking hat and hold my rifle aloft...the stunning, radiant beauty and awesome power of such a presentation shall render ineffectual the croak of ravens, the hissing of snakes, and the evil menacing smiles of far away crocodiles, and all other beasts of the earth who threaten the goodness of Bagdad...ah, and it shall tempt and seduce, like butterflies with an appetite for fragrant pollens, many fine young virgins of bountiful booty and bosom...

(alright, my foolish sons Odai and Qusai have screwed up the site and my secret agents recommended you...)