<I put my foot on the coffee creamer or whatever it was, and ground it into a less-sinister looking gritty streak, imagining that my foot was really on the moron's head who'd sprinkled the stuff there.

...It's been nice typing with you, sp. We'll all miss you.
;^)

Seriously, I agree wholeheartedly. Interesting:

I would like to see harsh penalties for pranks like these in times like this. Maybe a year of picking up trash from our freeways on weekends, or something of that nature, wearing a bright orange suit with the words MORON in large type on the back.

A new Sherlock Holmes thriller, "The Case of the Orange Moron."

Cheers,
Dan