Announcer: Tom, the defendant, claims he was spitting out shot before et was born. ET claims that Tom is a class warrior who belittles the left. Welcome to the case of the grouchy posters!

HZ: The CASE of the GROUCHY posters!

Bailiff: Please rise. The honoroble SDAI-Tech1 presiding.

SDAI-Tech1: Be seated. Ok. Now by the posts printed before me I can see that ET started this after he called a mister "Scott Evil" a sniper. That's a serious charge. You got any evidence to back your claim?

ET: Yes quite a bit. I pinged Mr. Evil's ISP, did all relevant records searches for said ISP through as many search engines as I could manage in ten minutes and identified what I'd call a "sit-on-your-keister" pattern which indicated he was not the "stalker" type. Now me...I know stalkers. Mr. Evil is a "wannabe" stalker - a mere lazy-a-- sniper. As for Tom, he is a class warrior reprobate who can't let a post go by without defending the righteous rightwing agenda. Him and ol' flabbysides are the bulwark of the class warrior contingent...

SDAI-Tech1: Ok, hold that thought for a moment. Now Tom, you say ET has his nose in the air and disdains hunters while eating meat. You think this makes him a huffy hypocrite? Care to elucidate?

Tom: Cripes. If his perpetual nosebleed doesn't tell you something about the air he's breathing, nothing will. I was pointing out the obvious. I can diagram a post for you with all the relevant links - all the way back to his confrontation with the anti-Franco guy at the deli who was wearing a hunting cap and a red and black flannel shirt. Is that what I have to do? Please tell me I'm not pointing out all these things for nothing. ET may reside in red America but give the guy a little education and suddenly his heads up so high he's turned blue.

SDAI-Tech1: Okay. Well ET, even if Scott is a sniper and not a stalker as he appears to admit to in the posts before me, what do you say to the charges that education has turned you into a Texas rendition of Gainsborough's "Blue boy?"

RobVG: Could I interrupt for a moment please? I know it's not proper etiquette and I don't want to upset anyone here - but I think ET hacked my system. Is the proper forum to address that?

SDAI-Tech1: (Strikes gavel) Order! Order in the court! This is not the place for succh an outburst. Besides, what proof have you got? You can't just stand up and start flinging accusations around here.

RobVG: Pardon me, your Honor, but isn't that exactly what everyone does here at the HZ?

SDAI-Tech1: Ahem. Well.....yes...but not while my court is in session! Besides you didn't answer me - what evidence have you got my boy?

Rob VG: Er..just a gut feeling. But it's a very, very strong gut feeling your Honor.

SDAI-Tech1: Please be seated. I'm afraid gut feelings are not accepted as evidence in this court. Now where was I? Oh yes...blue boy. ET what do you have to say about the accusations?

ET: I've never seen 205.161...er I mean RobVG before in my life! It's outrageous!

SDAI-Tech1: No, NO! I was talking about Tom's claim about you breathing rarified air out of bottles imported from Berkeley. Forget this other stuff and answer that charge.

ET: I deny it all, categorically. Tom may have been spitting out shot before I was born but it must have been lead shot and I claim he's had brain fever since age 6 and never recovered. Being in South Dakota it was probably never identified and diagnosed by the "physicians" who live there.

R.L.: These guys aren't irritable or grouchy - now I, am grouchy - but work at 14,000 feet and you'd be grouchy too - you moronic idiot buffoons!

Publius: Im not sorry to interrupt, and so I will. You retardlicans probably find this post amusing, but only because SADI is always taking up the banner of Bush, your new Caesar. Your marching orders and lockstep are duly noted.

Lindy: Right you are Publius! SADI and Tom are just psychotic and deluded. I'm sending them the a month's supply of "reality" pills. I really do hope Katie ties up Tom with cables and takes over the house. As for "Scott Evil" - he's really just SADI in disguise. Heck most of the posters here are SADI in disguise.

Don: Lindy, hate to interrupt - but another bombing has occured in Iraq killing nine Iraqis. I'd also like to reiterate my stance that Bush has led us into a reckless war in pursuit of imaginary WMD. And while we must stick it out to the end we must impeach this President as quickly as possible.

ebnelson: Don I am LMFAO BYDEKWTHTLSFDY!

DavinL: I was going to stay out of this, as I am officially on vacation from CE, but I'll make my twenty-fifth comment since that time anyway since it'll be just a small one. Tom is off his rocker, SDAI is just crazy as a loon and I wish Mary Anne would put the issue to rest. She is the only poster worth reading anymore.

Tom: I agree!

Lindy: You go girl!

McFly No, YOU go girl! Canadians forever!

Spartacus Nyahhh! I've bailed for good back to the MS boards! Canuck Artillery salute!

Nick: Anyone really wonder why I stay away from these boards most of the time? I'd sooner be broiled alive while standing over the largest undersea geothermal vent.

Johannes: Eureka! That's a possibility I didn't take into account! Geothermal heat fluctuation! The earth's atmosphere will grow denser when geothermal heating intensifies and the oceans expand! My 1955 textbook here shows a few equations that I need to use to recalculate my theory. Bear with me as I make some adjustments!

Mary Anne: After an IM session with Fox we came up with a solution to the impasse here which deserves careful consideration. Scott Evil confesses to being a sniper, so ET is exonerated. Tom's charges are not factual charges with legal bearing on this case at all as he presented them after the case begun and failed to file them with the court. ET is innocent due to Scott's admission to being a sniper - all charges against him should be dropped. Perhaps we should also clarify exactly who appointed SDAI-Tech1 one the judge and jury of other posters here?

Fox: couldn't have put it better myself.

Mary Anne: (Blush)

RobVG: Yeah... sure he's innocent. Tell that to my PC.

SDAI-Tech1: Order, ORDER IN THE COURT! All these outbursts will be striken from the record! Court stengrapher can you delete those outbursts?

Robert: Well....I could....but I won't. I think they make a nice inclusion into the scheme of the HZ. Besides you've been a bad boy and if I delete them - no one'll know. Besides there are issues here that need to be addressed.

T. Elifritz: ICANT TESTIFFY NO MAC SUPPORTE KGRNEG491....(fading)

E.P.: You know the big one's gonna hit and this'll be the last thing anyone read. When we finally build a lunar site capable of impactor detection then we can waste our time with this irrelevant stuff.

Dr. Impact: Ah, yeah, like YOU are the master of relevancy!

Raoul: Look! solar flares, an article about colonizing the 3rd planet and Belgian Tennis star Clijsters thinks like an American

Clijsters she has gone and done the one thing that can crush my heart! et tu Clijsters!

SDAI-Tech1 I give up! Case dismissed! Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you too! Harrumph!

;-)