I'm reading a delightfully snooty -- it is too -- little best-seller from England, Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, by Lynne Truss. The title refers to the behavior of a panda, who, encountering a poorly punctuated description of panda dietary habits, had lunch at a restaurant, shot the waiter, and walked out.

I must share some of this. Responses to the author's request for examples of misused apostrophes (a tiny selection, she states):

Singular possessive instead of simple plural (the "greengrocer's apostophe"):

Trouser's reduced
Coastguard Cottage's
Next week: nouns and apostrophe's! (BBC website advertising a grammar course for children)

Singular possessive instead of plural possessive:

Pupil's entrance (on a very selective school, presumably)
Adult Learner's Week (lucky him)
Frog's Piss (French wine putting unfair strain on a single frog)
Member's May Ball (but with whom will the member dance?)
Nude Reader's Wives (intending "Readers' Nude Wives", of course, but conjuring up an interesting picture of polygamous nude reader attended by middle-aged women in housecoats and fluffy slippers)

Plural possessive instead of singular possessive:

Lands' End (mail-order company which roundly denies anything wrong with name)
[She contradicts this assertion later in the book, but never mind. ;) -MA]
Bobs' Motors

No possessive where possessive is required:

Citizens Advice Bureau
Mens Toilets
Britains Biggest Junction (Clapham)

Dangling expectations caused by incorrect pluralisation:

Pansy's ready (is she?)
Cyclist's only (his only what?)
Please replace the trolley's (replace the trolley's what?)

and best of all:

Nigger's out (a sign seen in New York, under which was written, wickedly: "But he'll be back shortly")

Unintentional sense from unmarked possessive:

Dicks in tray (try not to think about it)
New members welcome drink (doubtless true)

Someone knows an apostrophe is required ... but where, oh where?

It need'nt be a pane (on a van advertising discount glass)
Ladie's hairdresser
Mens coat's
Childrens' education ... (in a letter from the head of education at the National Union of Teachers)
The Peoples Princess' (on memorial mug)
Freds' restaurant [Didn't we see this above, in Plural possessive instead of singular possessive? -MA]

pp. 49-52

These examples go on for two more pages, but I have left off the remaining five categories.

It's difficult to type and laugh at the same time. But I suppose one has to be, um, "special" to laugh that hard at this stuff. ;)

Disclaimer: this is not a grammar manual. It's a lightweight, humorous look at the disintegration of punctuation under siege.

She recommends the following kit for a footsoldier in the Apostrophe War: "correction fluid; big pens; stickers cut to a variety of sizes, both plain (for sticking over unwanted apostrophes) and coloured (for inserting where apostrophes are needed); tin of paint with big brush; guerrilla-style clothing; strong medication for personality disorder; loudhailer [is the American translation for this word "bullhorn"?]; gun".

Madam! Please step away from the apostrophe key!