And I agree that all fundamentalists of whatever stripe (Islamist, Quaker, Republican...), need to take their humanity into consideration. However, I think that geting to that point follows a gradual (and inevitable) path that they must choose for themselves. Any encouragement from the outside will rightfully be looked on as attempts to corrupt.

I heard a story on NPR yesterday that was an interview of several Americans in Iraq. One lady said her Iraqi coworker has insisted that his wife wear a burkha. One day the coworker asked her (American coworker) for a cigarette. She said "only if you will let your wife our of her burkha for two weeks", and he agreed.

Kind of made me shiver because of the possibility that the American lady may have put these folks in jeopardy. I personally hate to take on responsibility like that. I don't like it when it is done on my behalf by "America", either.

I kind of subverted your thesis from what-they-need to encouraging-them-to-accept-what-we-think-they-need. Sorry about that.