Unless!...There's a planet out there made exclusively of gravitationally-compressed Coffee-Mate. ;-)

While it is common knowledge that some organic molecules such as ethanol ammonia and even some simple sugars have been found in interstellar clouds, what is being learned recently is that much more complex organic compounds are also present. Keck, with its sophisticated spectroscopic capabilities, has been a leader in detecting and identifying these molecules. I recently had the good fortune to be a part of of the most astounding discovery to date on this topic.

In a research project funded by the Hawaii Dept. of Agriculture Keck has been cataloging the composition of hundreds of interstellar molecular clouds. During our last laser run we looked at a dark cloud in the Barrista constellation. I probably shouldn't tell you this since it hasn't been officially released yet, so dont spread this around.

We detected high levels of emmissions consistent with caffeine! We then used a filter that reduced the background light and only allowed the emission spectra from caffeine to pass through, the initial observations were confirmed by using this 'coffee filter'. Additionally, numerous other complex molecules were identified, allowing us to conclusively determine that the cloud consists of a fine Kona blend, 90% Kona and 10% some other coffee- most likely Jamaican Blue Mountain, or a fine Sumatra.

Initial calculation shows that the cloud contains approximately 10^18 venti cappuchinos!! that is enough for nearly a billion cups of coffee for every man woman and child on earth. Starbucks is looking at the feasibility of launching an intersteller probe to open a store there.

Infrared observations indicate presence of large aggregate particles, called 'grounds'. These particles appear to be forming an accretion disk around a small star. This star may actually be a binary but we dont have the resolution to tell if it is one lump or two.

Orbiting the star at a distance of ~40 AU is a large planet that was presomably formed from the material that makes up the cloud- scientists have named this freeze dried planet 'Sanka'. It is the first extrasolar planet to be observed using Keck's new interferometer. This represents a stunning technical challenge since the light waves from the nebula are quite jittery.

If more of these clouds are detected it might go a long way to explaining the dark matter issue. Unless, of course, they turn out to be Lattes....