News Release on 'Grondine's Balls'

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News Release on 'Grondine's Balls'

Sorry- its just too much fun — 12/17/2006 4:39:53 AM (archived)

(NASA)- Preliminary study of Grondines balls show them to be over a billion years old. The Mars Sample Return Rover is snatching Grondine's Balls at every opportunity and placing them in the on-board Ball Sample Analysis Container. While Grondine's balls seem to serve no useful purpose, it is hoped that the balls will help scientists in devising ways to improve the Comet and Asteroid Protection System- Supporters of BALL-CAPS eagerly await Grondine's balls.

Grondine's balls have been shown to be very cold, hard, and dessicated- yet scientists express confidence that great things will come from teasing the secrets out of Grondine's Balls. Upon Return to Earth, Grondine's Balls will be sterilized and then ground into a fine powder for spectroscopic analysis. Said one scientist "For too long we have had the question of Grondne's balls hanging over our heads, now we finally will get a chance to have them in our hands!". When questioned about the pulverization of Grondine's balls one scientist shrugged and quipped "Its not like they have any other use, the only way we can learn anything is to put them in the 'Grondine Ball Breaker'... when it comes to proof of a watery Mars, you can't beat Grondine's balls".

The whole thread (56 posts)

Spirit finds blueberries? - REB - 12/15/2006 1:44:48 PM
- Sorry your thread was derailed, REB - R.L. - 12/17/2006 9:32:39 PM
  - That is okay. - REB - 12/18/2006 3:12:33 PM
  - More like rolled into the gutter. (n/t) - TB - 12/17/2006 9:39:03 PM
    - An entire jokefest based on one juvenile pun. (n/t) - Bowser - 12/18/2006 12:02:43 AM
      - Think of it as a test... Not all ball related puns are obvious.... - 8^) - 12/18/2006 3:02:15 AM
      - Nuts to you! As the Irish man said, I will be Dublin my efforts... - "I'm on a roll" said the kinky baker - 12/18/2006 2:36:25 AM
      - Naaa, not juvenile- sophmoric is the proper term... - R.L. - 12/18/2006 12:52:49 AM
    - Awww, admit it- its funny (n/t) - R.L. - 12/17/2006 9:42:45 PM
- re:Thread Removed from space (n/t) - Raoul moderating - 12/17/2006 9:09:26 AM
  - Proof that even moderators are repelled by Grondine's balls (n/t) - :) - 12/17/2006 4:40:49 PM
  - re: re:Sorry, Boss, but how were we to resist such a temptation!? (n/t) - Shamed Yeti - 12/17/2006 2:51:25 PM
- You mean the Grondine balls? - E.P. - 12/16/2006 4:07:59 PM
  - These are not impact condensates - REB - 12/18/2006 3:00:37 PM
    - D'oh - REB - 12/18/2006 3:16:48 PM
  - I heard that they were going to be named after Dr. Schweaty (n/t) - R.L. - 12/17/2006 8:42:59 PM
    - Or Dr. Hari (n/t) - R.L. - 12/17/2006 9:09:03 PM
      - Compromise has been reached- they will be called "Schweaty-Hari Balls" (n/t) - :) - 12/17/2006 9:10:17 PM
  - No, they aren't, and no, you were not... (n/t) - R.L. - 12/16/2006 10:38:45 PM
  - Tiny, dessicated, and never touched by a human.... - R.L. - 12/16/2006 9:47:33 PM
    - Grodine bowls? What's his average? (n/t) - azstrummer - 12/19/2006 12:03:32 AM
    - LOL (n/t) - Buck Galaxy - 12/17/2006 12:09:43 AM
      - I look forward to the next press release about thr RAT grinding away 'Grondine's balls' - R.L - 12/17/2006 12:17:03 AM
        
        STOP IT! I can't catch my breath!!! (n/t) - phil - 12/17/2006 3:49:34 AM
        
        News Release on 'Grondine's Balls' - Sorry- its just too much fun - 12/17/2006 4:39:53 AM
        
        LMAO! You guys are killing me! Here's more... - Buck Galaxy - 12/17/2006 9:15:59 AM
        
        Scientists search for answers... - Buck Galaxy - 12/17/2006 10:31:23 PM
        
        Just one question.... - Enquiring minds want to know.... - 12/18/2006 4:38:35 AM
        
        and an equally valid question - Yeti - 12/18/2006 5:01:12 AM
        
        LOL (n/t) - Yeti - 12/18/2006 2:16:30 AM
        
        Grondine's balls are proving hard to scratch, say scientists - :) having too much fun with this - 12/17/2006 5:30:21 PM
        
        LOL! (n/t) - R.L. - 12/17/2006 2:07:11 PM
        
        Excerpts of Coverage of conference on Grondine's Balls - Reporter Yeti - 12/17/2006 5:03:20 AM
        
        More Excerpts: - Yeti - 12/17/2006 5:27:23 AM
        
        The conference was supported by French millionaire Jacques Strapp (n/t) - :) - 12/17/2006 9:30:45 PM
        
        Hey Moderator(s) - Yeti - 12/17/2006 5:32:00 AM
        
        LMAO - Robert - 12/17/2006 6:58:14 PM
        
        MAJOR DISCOVERY!!! Mineral Compsition of Grondine's Balls Established! - Yeti - 12/17/2006 8:02:07 PM
        
        This falls under the category of 'speculative science friction'... - R.L. - 12/17/2006 4:56:37 AM
        
        After all, EP gets to make lots of posts here on Zion's friction.... - R.L. (with a nod to Spider Robinson) - 12/17/2006 4:59:23 AM
        
        This will make EP testes (n/t) - R.L. - 12/17/2006 6:05:48 AM
    - uhhh, R.L., that reads Grondine: Balls!, not Grondine's balls (n/t) - E.P. - 12/16/2006 11:04:31 PM
      - I knew you would supply the punchline... - R.L. - 12/17/2006 12:09:00 AM
        
        re: I knew you would supply the punchline... - E.P. - 12/17/2006 12:35:56 AM
        
        This from the guy that called Hawking a 'retard' - R.L. - 12/17/2006 1:27:24 AM
        
        re: I knew you would supply the punchline... - R.L. - 12/17/2006 12:39:38 AM
    - Watch it.... - TB - 12/16/2006 9:57:01 PM
      - I was talking about the 'blueberries' of course... - R.L. - 12/16/2006 10:03:29 PM
        
        Interestingly enough... - TB - 12/17/2006 4:07:54 AM
- re: Spirit finds blueberries? - Jeff F - 12/15/2006 4:05:25 PM
  - re: Spirit finds blueberries? - REB - 12/15/2006 4:31:13 PM
- Used to find those along train tracks - SDF - 12/15/2006 2:13:49 PM
  - Did Viking 1 image blueberries? - LJK - 12/15/2006 8:13:12 PM
    - We don't know - E.P. - 12/16/2006 4:12:22 PM
    - re: Did Viking 1 image blueberries? - REB - 12/15/2006 8:53:45 PM
      - Also used to see those around an arc welder's work area - SDF - 12/17/2006 2:19:58 PM

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