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Excerpts of Coverage of conference on Grondine's Balls
Reporter Yeti — (archived)

"..... The researcher, exasperated that the NASA scientist was not taking him seriously, flung his balls [which were a key visual aid of his lecture] at the face of of the Beligerent scientist..."

".... Said Diego Alvarez, a post Doc from UT Austin: 'I've never seen balls flying so fast! it was very disturbing' "

".... Due to the unknown toxic qualities of Grondine's Balls, a hazmat crew was called in to clear the scene"

".... Unfortunately, due to their size, the crew had to use unorthodx means to get the Balls firmly in hand- more to the point they had to use a HEPA vacuum "

"...'Its not the first time my job has sucked balls', said the janitor, "

"...The audience derided the researcher further, whose claim was that his balls were artifacts of impact... The general consensus was that his balls were too malformed and non-spherical to have been formed as molten rck flew through the martian sky... Said one scientist, shaking his head gravely: 'grondine just doesnt have the balls to make such a claim' "

".... 'Scientifically speaking, Grondines Balls have begun to shrivel up', said another scientist, referring to the rapidly collapsing hypothesis that they are impactor indicators "

".... Further analysis awaits for the return sample platform, currently hurling its Balls at earth, so that the scientists can finally get their rocks off"

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