Last week I went to a meeting involving astronomy club presidents in the french speaking part of Belgium.
One of them produced a book written by University scientists about all sorts of para-science events such as UFOs.

Another quickly read the UFO part (concerning the 89-91 sightings) and got kind of angry at an explanation (F 117 test flights). I also agreed this wasn't a convincing explanation. (Why fly so far away from home, in a densily populated area, when we all know planes can crash and the US has huge deserts).

Then he started to explain he himself saw a UFO at the time (with many others simultaneously). I let him blow his steam and let him talk until it was time to pass at something else. I did not reply but I wanted to but couldn't find the appropriate answer.
Now, I think I have it. I'll use it next time I see him.

I also saw something odd, long before , in july 68 at the beach. It looked like a balloon but didn't behave that way.
But I'm not obsessed by it.

The thing is: yes we saw something unexplainable....but why should it be an extra-terrestrial intelligence?
There are too many things against this interpretation: the Fermi paradox (where are they; they should be everywhere?); waves of the same kind of events (same time and space) suggesting a cultural influence (why are abductions concentrated in the US and nowhere else?).
At the university (1975) , I once assisted at a conference given by professor Jean (John) Dierksens. He analyzed experiments on Uri Geller. The problem was Uri was cought cheating and that put an end on his credibility.
My amateur astronomer friend says : if only ONE UFO sighting could not be disproved, that should be enough to make it a good case for ET....Unfortunately, this goes against critical thinking and how science works (repeatable experiences).

The way to deal with it would be to apply critical thinking, not to get obsessed by it, not to try to give a definitive explanation to it (perhaps the best way to keep an open mind about it).

We should accept there are many things we don't understand and for which we don't have an explanation, now.

Isn't that the fun part? Looking for an answer and not having it....yet?

Doubt is the opposite of belief and the father of invention. (Bovee and Galileo)