SEN News Exclusive

In a bold move, House speaker Nancy Pelosi told Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad that the United States Congress would not stand for Syrian sponsorship of terrorism in Iraq, Lebanon, and/or Panama.

The Syrian leader was visibly shaken as he expected the Ranking Democrat to be a push-over.

Much to the dismay of the Syrian leader, Mrs. Pelosi refused to pose for pictures on a Syrian anti-aircraft battery, and she expressed a hard line on topics of interest to the Syrian leader such as State sponsored terrorism.

In a bold move that would even make President Bush Blush with diplomatic apologies Pelosi made a public statement that "Syria must quit killing the innocents in Lebanon, and must turn to the ways of peace as taught by Gandhi, King, and the true savior Jesus Christ".

Said Mrs. Pelosi after the meeting: "Look, I know the Syrian leader is a murderous tyrant...And while I personally envy his position as such...He needs to understand that he in a nobody compared to the National interests of the United States and her blood-brother state Israel."

"I told him flat out: He is as good as dead if he crossed the United States of America. We aren't going to take any shit from Syria. We don't have the time or the energy to wait on them to get their sorry act together. They need to shape up fast and they best be on-board with our plans to dominate the Middle East."

Assad had no comment other than to say: "Don't mess with American women. Praise Allah, I hope no woman ever gets elected President of the United States."