Jody,

I know how my post must have bothered/offended you.
So please accept my apologies and also give me a chance to express my admiration for anyone that sticks with the 12 step program.
I am nowhere above anyone of those members that take their time and efforts and follow this program.
I was frustrated at a couple of things and I ment no disrespect.

My post was only to point out that I cannot agree with a couple of concepts, and the ability to disagree is what makes me a human being afterall.

My wife has improved tenfold since joining the program, she just completed steps 6 and 7 and looking forward to move on with her life. I am the first to admit that life at home got alot better because of how she is choosing to live her life, a notion that she learned from the 12 step program.

I know that somewhere in your heart, just like my wifes, you think that my reaction was typical of someone who is in denial, but I wouldn't have brought myself into a therapist office on my own will if I believed everything was fine with me.

I cannot agree that continuing remembering the past of your bad behaviour helps you move forward. I rather keep in focus what I have present and what I currently cherish the most, and then work from here on after to keep this things/feelings with me and become a better person.

I am not sure if this is just a way everyone sees it or it really is just subjective, but I learned that addiction occurs when someone ABUSES something to fill an "emptyness" inside. I don't know how much work is done to define the abuse but I see how it can become difficult to differentiate between a normal use and abuse.
Allow me to make an example

If I loved a person to the extreme that I would buy her flowers every day, surprise her with gifts, sing to her every night, and think about her every given second of my life, I would be tagged as deeply in love.
If I loved a person to the extreme that I would drive by her house every night wondering if she is fine, call her on the phone every day, expressed my love to her by leaving notes in her mailbox, some would tag me as a stalker.
In the first case I am not abusing, yet in the second I am. The differences are slight but the impact is immense.
Once a addict, always an addict. This is a phrase I cannot agree with.
I think the problem is what different types of addicts there are. For sure there are more then just one type.
Let me try to explain myself.

I see a person that has been fine for the most part of his life. In one day, he loses his job, finds his wife cheating on her, gets in a car accident and loses his house keys. He is in despair and ends up in a bar and drinks his wallet gone.
He abused alcohol, granted. He is not an addict. That was the wrong thing to do.

I see another person that has only $5 in his pocket. He is homeless and hungry. There is a shelter that would give him a place to sleep and food for $5. And he chooses to buy cigarettes instead. He is a pathological addict.

There is a 21 year old kid , who is partying almost every night and has been since college. Drinking is normal for him at this age since EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. He grows up, finds a job, drinks less, finds a girl and gets married. Now he just socially drinks every now and then, not for the purpouse of getting drunk.
He WAS and addict, and abused Alcohol. He is not an Addict anymore.

Once and addict, always an addict is only true if your addiction is pathological, to the point where you cannot identify what is right and what is wrong. You need, at this point, medical treatment and 24/7 observation for quite some time (and no star treatment heheh)

Daren