Question: What do women and clowns have in common?

Answer: To be taken seriously as professionals, both must paint their faces and sport shoes that do not conform to the shape of the human foot.

This is what heels do, besides give women tendonitis, bunions, sprained ankles from falling off of them, and sore feet:

They foreshorten the calf muscles, giving them greater definition, thus a sexier look.

They give us longer legs, another hallmark of sexiness. Girls who have just reached sexual maturity shoot up, acquiring in that growth spurt longer legs and curvier hips, as well as the all-important chest expansion. Notice the very long legs on the magical girls in Japanese manga.

They make us walk in baby steps, balanced precariously. This makes us look more childlike and vulnerable. (The same goes for make-up that encourages a look of large, wide-set eyes: baby eyes.) Men are thus encouraged to feel more protective and manly. Ever watch a woman slowly make her way down a flight of stairs in heels? Ever think she could use a steadying hand? Ever offer her one? See?

No kidding. Consult The Human Sexes by Desmond Morris for more details about what we do to ourselves to attract the opposite sex. And incidentally, this would include several practices considered cosmetically challenged by Western cultures.

Non-Western women may think that stilletto heels are stupid. They would be right, if these shoes were made for walking. But they aren't.

I, having a family history of long-lived women, am looking forward to living with my feet. My shoe strategy seeks to avoid crippling them. I am therefore avoiding heels for the most part. There are two pair, one black and one white, in the closet. They come out two or three times a year. I look great and am relieved to take them off.

I bet Ann Coulter wears them. She seems more interested in form than function, and a world outlook like hers can only be helped along by sore feet. ;P

Regards--
Mary Anne