<News Story Barbie's Messages

This story omits some of the better BarbieTM messages:

To Saddam Hussein:

"Hi Saddam, this is Barbie! I just wanted to call and let you know that torturing and killing your own people is not a healthy way to assert your individuality. Getting along with others, even those who disagree with you is part of becoming an adult. Ken and I often disagree but we work things out together by discussing our views. Offering sanctuary to those who defect and return - and then killing them when they do return, is not the sort of behavior a grown-up exhibits. Hope you heed some of this good advice! Thanks for calling, I'll see you at the mall!"

Your Friend,

Barbie

To Steve Case:

"Hi Steve, this is Barbie! I hear you may be feeling down due to your resignation as Chairman. Well cheer up! Ken got bummed out when he invested in your stock and it took a 'nose-dive into the toilet' as he so eloquently put it, but that wasn't all your doing. Yes, AOL is a corrupt company whose business practices employs spam mailing techniques to obtain customers, and you were the 'meany faced' force that ripped off many teens and grannies of their 19.95, but that's no reason to frown! Turn that smile upside down Steve, because I hear you will be given a great big severance package that could supply a million shopping sprees! Thanks for calling, I'll see you at the galeria!"

Your Friend,

Barbie

To Christina Aguilera:

Hi Christina, this is Barbie! Yes, I know what it feels like to be overexposed and to have people undressing you! It's good we are talking! You see, I talked to Britney the other day and she had some very hostile and unflattering remarks about you. I told her that just because you were revealing more of yourself to the public than she is willing to do, that you were not a "filthy, dumb, slut-whore copy-cat." I think she is learning to put a positive outlook onto any situation she dislikes. Ever since Pepsi did not renew her contract, she has been calling a lot lately with less than lady-like comments! I hope you can call her up and be her best friend - just like Midge is my best friend! I know Skipper and Kelly get along splendidly after they receive their monthly checks from Mattel! Thanks for calling! I'll see you at the plaza!"

Your Friend,

Barbie

These were off the top quickly...I'm sure there is a column in here, or possibly even a book, for the person ambitious enough to take the chore....

;-)

SDAI-Tech1