"sales were in line with expectations" -
we didn't expect to sell much, and sure enough, we didn't

"profits were in line with expectations" - we didn't expect to make any profits either, and sure enough, we didn't

"the rate of increase in unemployment is down" - while more people were laid off and the total number of unemployed rose to new highs, there were fewer people laid off than last week

"the market ended the week mixed" - it was down but we tried our best to get it up

"we followed standard accounting practices" - at least the ones accountants use to stay out of jail

"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it may incriminate me" - I've already shreded all the documents, and if you want to try to get anybody higher up you'll have to let me go free

"executive privilege is a very important principle" - it applies when you're forming energy policy, but not when you're trying to get some type of health care system put in place

"banking privacy is a very important principle" - Its one that you've never experienced, but it helps us to make money under the table. If a few terrorists slip through, you have to remember how important that principle is to us.

ep