Intelligent design has nothing to do with gods. The premis is that someone built the Universe on purpose. I, therfor, propose a new theory:

Stupid Design

I hereby propose that the Universe was built completely by accident, due entirely to the stupidity of one person.

Zardax.

You see, Zardax was taking out the trash one day. It was a day like any other, with zydots singing and durpas howling. Well, on this particular day, Zardax stopped on his way to the dump (feedobians had never developed a garbage removal system) to chat with Kreen. Seems Kreen had just developed a new odorant aplicator and wanted Zardax to try it out. Being the consummate idiot he was, Zardax placed his sack of garbage on the left rear fender of a teadle, which had paused to allow pedestrian traffic to cross the six-point intersection. As Zardax raised his screeb to apply the odorant, the motorist pulled away for the curb, taking with her Zardax' sack of trash.

At her destination, Teely departed her teadle and proceeded into the wormhole, where she worked as a copyright analyst. Left outside, and hazardously opened by the breeze of Teely’s speedy trip to work, a zydot landed on the sack and took a hefty dump -- directly onto the exposed garbage!

Well, and needless to say, there was a profound chemical reaction, resulting in the transformation of Teely’s teadle into a black hole. There was the expected chain reaction, which totally destroyed the planet Feendob -- as well as the Feenal system, the Tsk galaxy, and eventually the entire Universe. The collapse and gathering of all matter to the singularity of the Cosmic Egg was brief, resulting in the nearly immediate Big Bang -- and here we are today.

Thank you,
Dan