Actually, the driving rules apply to all of Colorado, where running red lights is a popular passtime and courtesy is considered a sign of weakness.

Welcome to the Denver-metro Area of Colorado!

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "den-ver" not Denvah.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Denver has its own version of traffic rules...the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.(Note: Blue-haired, green-haired or cranberry-haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)

3. To find anything in Denver it is required that you know where Colfax and Broadway are ..... which is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.

4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. You must know that "I-25 and the Valley Hwy" are the same road. Same goes for Hampden Ave, highways 225 and 285 - they are the same too.

7. North and south only vaguely resemble the real direction of certain streets such as Spear Blvd.

8. Highway 287 runs north, south, east and west and every direction in between; it can be found in every section of the Denver area to make navigating interesting.

9. Construction is a permanent fixture in Denver. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.

10. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, jay-walkers, pan-handlers, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, prairie dogs and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.

11. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches for your vehicle is recommended for city driving. Lots of "stuff" falls off or falls from something.

12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated".

13. The minimum acceptable speed on "all freeways, I-25, Hwys 76, 225/285/Hampden, Hwys 87 and 36 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Colorado's version of NASCAR. The difference is some drivers are armed and irritable!

14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (it maybe hazardous to your health)

15. If you are in the left lane and are only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ... you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

16. The trend in recent years indicates if it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.