My definition of "the mess"
Simply that we fail to understand the culture and the "drivers" of Arab and islamic peoples. (and you can add Asians, Europeans, Hispanics, and Africans to that!)
Everything else follows from that. The route to a solution, imho, requires intensive cultural and political education of all who will become soldiers, politicians, businessmen, decision makers - in short - most everybody.
The famous joke about Americans' lack of map skills (as in what country is this funny shaped one here?) is quite true, and is the visible part of the iceberg of ignorance.
Most modern societies are nearly as bad, but the USA leads proudly and crassly, imho.
If we do not understand the "other" they will become our enemy, and we theirs...