Here.

The other night I caught one of the new old Star Treks: they redid the FX, updating the old matte paintings with CGI, replacing the shots of the ship in space with something that looks less like a model on a string. The music’s in stereo, and the pictures look better – they should, since they shot the original film for use in a HighDef version to be released later. They didn’t change anything; they just redid the original material. Now if someone could do the same for TNG, we’ll be set. Also edit out any scenes in which Troi says “I feel,” Wesley says anything, or Worf gets beat up by someone who materializes on the bridge and knocks him into the corner. Just once he should have killed someone with a single blow. Just once. Oh, he would have got the big lecture from Captain Cranium - Misteh Wohff, we have lawrs about how we deeeel with unfahmiliah speecees - but it would have been worth it, just to know he was looking at the Captain, and thinking: dink.

Anyway. In honor of the 40th anniversary of Star Trek, a brief pathetic survey of the merchandise available to geeks after the show had gone off the air, and lived in afternoon syndication, homemade comics, Saturday morning Filmation krep and comic book ads. Here you go, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

You're not a real fan unless you ordered crap from Lincoln Enterprises.