Now, the Bush plan:
I ask the rest of the peace-loving nations of the world to join me in seeking to remove this against this threat to our democratic way of life!"

Asteroid keeps coming. A UN investigation shows that it has no chance of hitting Earth, but the coalition investigation finds that the asteroid would hit only the US and France, Russia, China and the Middle East figure the US had it coming.

"If the Rest Of the World isn't going to take care of this, the United States in the interest of peace and freedom will have to do it on it's own!" But the coalition comes to aid of the US in the name of humanity.

UN says the asteroid is going to miss by an even wider margin than previously calculated. More nations suggest that the US plan could result in disaster, and that the asteroid is not going to hit Earth. Upon further review it is discovered that the UN and nations opposing the US want the asteroid resources for themselves.

"Sanctions will not work against a brutal and cruel asteroid which does not care about consequences to itself. But once the sanctions are lifted the asteroid will keep coming and the corrupt UN officials will auger in on the take.

Bush and 14 other nations work together to confront the asteroid.
"I have directed the Armed Forces of the Unites States, with the assistance of NASA, to confront this evil threat in the only way it will understand. Bring it on!" (didn't Jimmy Carter say that too?)

So, Bush blows it into a bazillion pieces, many of which are now on their way to strike Earth. Some will miss for now, preferring to make it on another pass. But the majority of earth is saved from the evildoer and with the will and determination the asteroid fragments are destroyed one by one.

"I've had to make the tough decisions. They have no plan of their own. It's easy to criticize." They say what has that asteroid done to us, can’t we just police it away. If we agree not to destroy it it will hit earth and just become part of it.

Wish I had more time but I in a hurry.
Thanks for the laugh.