That last paragraph?
Some good questions, and I wish I had a good answer. We already know that the radicals will bring the fight to us if we ignore them. There was a hole in the New York skyline for a long time. We also know that "reforming" Middle Eastern nations is something our modern political culture can't handle.
We dropped nukes on Japan, then held them under military occupation for seven years before we let them go forward on their own. This seemed to work. Japan became a peaceful democracy. But doing this required an entirely different set of ideas than America holds now.
This occupation did not create generations of Japanese terrorists, but of course the Japanese culture was not Islamist culture.