I went to visit my cousin 3 years ago in Upstate NY. We had not communicated in almost 15 years. I would hear through the grapevine from various Aunts what the status was of my extended family.

I had been through a particularly difficult year in 2004 ....so I decided to do something just for me. I went back to my hometown and stayed 2 weeks with my cousin...and her life partner.

We talked about politics periphally. I was a right leaning centrist. The girls were left leaners all the way. I agreed with them on the right for gays to marry....and that is where we found our common ground. We did not speak of anything else politically. A jab every now and then would surface about Bush...and I kept my mouth shut. They were more important to me than anything that I may stand for ideologically. Her parents are dyed in the wool Christians and *extreme* right wingers....

I would listen to my Aunt play Christian hymns on the piano every afternoon. We said prayers before eating. I never uttered one cuss word. I would sit with my Aunt and Uncle every night and watch Bonanza re-runs. I talked about missionaries with my Aunt.

I made a statement once that I thought my father (who passed in 2000) was *fishing in Scotland*. This visibly upset my uncle. He retorted
"We serve the Lord when we go to Heaven". I just smiled and never said another word.

My cousin lives a life of utter chaos in her household. Her 3 children, while deeply loved, run amuk. I suspect it stems from them having 2 mothers, and the women overcompensate. I found it extremely difficult to hold conversations with my cousins because all 3 children were vying for Miss Jodys' attention. None of this matters. My cousins, and Aunt and Uncle were so happy to see me. They made me feel so warm and welcome. I felt loved and worthwhile. We all embraced our common ground....the family dinners...rides through the countryside...stopping in to visit old friends...the beautiful Maple tree in front of Aunt Bettys' house turning a vibrant red for the 100th time. my cousin and I having leaf fights... bathing all 3 kids in the tub together laughing at the shampoo hair dos we would create on the children....going to a real live pumpkin patch...it is these things that that make us real with one another.

~Politics and religion are moot when it comes to friends and family.~
I sure as hell don't want to be on my death bed wishing I had argued more about Republicans, Democrats and holy water.