There are some experiences that profoundly change you, but you really can't explain why or how to someone who has not also experienced them. We all have had thse experiences, although not necessarily the same ones.

I've always envied those who've raised a family, who've experienced combat, or a long imprisonment. I've never wanted the first, and I would be a fool to have put myself in a position to experience the others, but I am in awe of those who have survived these experiences, and gotten past them. I have never done so, and I will always wonder if I would have
acquitted myself honorably if I had been so tested. I've also envied those who have been successful in business, not because I desire their rewards, but because I recognize it requires courage and skill I do not know I have, or even want.

I am proud of some things I have accomplished, although it is no disgrace for those who for one reason or another, never have. I have learned a manual trade, and I have had a good education. I have known great love, and its loss. And I have been loved. I have been honest and responsible. I have done things I am proud of, and that I am ashamed of.

I have never been truly hungry, or truly afraid for my life (except for a few moments) or been in truly excruciating pain for long periods of time. I would be a fool to seek out these experiences, but I am in awe of those who have lived them and moved on. I have experienced the altered states Harris speaks of, although not as often or as deeply. They were worth it, irreplaceable, in fact. But I have no doubt I would have survived, even flourished, without them.

A human being is the sum of his memories.

"Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen."
John le Carre,