more time scales and probability
Yep, we're further away from leaving the solar system than we are from leaving the planet, but we're also further away from the technology needed to accidentally fry the solar system.
I still think many of the proposed solutions to the Fermi Paradox fail if you suspect that ETI arises fairly often. The correct solution has to prevent every alien species from leaving evidence of their presence here on Earth. If there are many ETIs arising in our galaxy's history, a solution that relies on self-destruction always preceding spread in every case just seems less credible.
My guess: it's not self-destruction, but evolving into Artificial Intelligence that we don't detect that's the explanation of the paradox.