"it does seem to be a lot of who's trying to get one over on who."
Hmmmm. I think males can be protective just by their presence.
Just as a woman can make a home more homey. Smell nice, look nice.
Make tasty meals. The guys do the heavier stuff like repair the bathroom and cars, mow the lawn, etc..
Perhaps you are talking about the material aspects of a relationship, as in paychecks?
Women who stay home with the kids are usually taken for granted for the amount of HOURS they put in endlessly for no pay at all.
Personally I don't mind the male being stronger and more dominant as long as he's not trying to keep the missus under his thumb. LOL