>"I thought about her, wondered if I could talk to her, and I had the sense I could if I sat there long enough, if I could just rid myself of my Western clutter, if I could just open my eyes. I asked her if I could come back, maybe humbler, maybe wiser, if she would talk to me then."

Looking for answers to our beginnings, we turn towards science and anthropolgy looking for the connection. We sit in silence listening to the wind and pondering if there is an intelligence that will speak to us. I know the feeling. My most profound moments have been when I'm on pilgrimage to the place where I had my close encounter. Year after year for decades, I go back to the spot where it happened, looking for answers; waiting for that revelation. Asking "Why"?

I have never been able to break through. The breakthrough was the actual event; the actual event was a penetration through a space time wormhole of some kind, something that connected the past, the future and my existence in It and I was ...for a very brief time, cognizant of an Intelligence that "spoke" to me. It gathered my attention and spoke directly to me. It was an earth shattering event. It tore my world apart. If only it would tap me on the shoulder one more time. If only I would get the second revelation. My journey and my desire to KNOW, was just like yours Bowz. It sits at the heart of my very Existence.

For years after, I felt like I was just another ant in a colony that had been knocked out of line by a Big Stick while on my journey back to the nest. I have never fully integrated back into that "line" and if you find me different here, it's because I'm looking at it from the perspective of being knocked out of the hive mind.