"Face full of claws," for sure!
...if you're coming here with the sole purpose of pulling the monkey's tail, then you shouldn't complain when you get a face full of claws.
From the Urban Dictionary:
Monkey Claw: A fart that feels like your anus and sphincter are being torn apart by a thousand monkeys
Okay, maybe the level of debate here is a little bit higher than that. I'm cutting you all some slack by not using Definition 5.