And yet, all the time I thought I was seeing them as fellow humans I was actually establishing some sort of pecking order?

It all depends on how and why you use it. People are disarmed when someone uses their first name. It puts them as familiars even if they've never met before.

Mr. or Mrs. when used shows respect - both ways. When a 70 year old woman gets a x-ray and the 22 year old attendant calls her by her first name, it seems unseemly and disrespectful. Some relationships are meant to be formal and one is put at a disadvantage when one is not. Business relationships, commerce are facilitated by use of Mr. or Mrs. when communicating. It's more professional. It's fine to know the name of one's local market clerk, and places one frequents more often - but at places one visits very seldom, or one time it's counter-intuitive.

The caliber of establishment can quickly be obtained by the simple use of a salutation. When one goes to a restaurant it's not "John, your table is ready," rather it's "Mr. Public your table is ready."

You may use first names to be a "fellow human" but in many places it is used to disarm and get one's way. I could make a HUGE post just to explain how architecture is designed to intimidate people and put them at a disadvantage. Banks, lawyers and doctor offices especially are designed with these elements built in. From the height of the counters, the size of the desks and the use of color and decor - it's a package deal. The next time you go to your local bank, take a look at the counter height. And then look at the desks. They put a little low slung chair in front of a huge desk and review your loan application, or negotiate that deal for a new car. Authoritarian and big/little psychology is in use around you every day. By using dark colors and formal decor, they tell you they are the authority.

Doctors offices will have the latest technology in the waiting room. Plasma televisions playing medical infomercials, modern style seating and lots of smooth surfaces, less ornamentation and pale colors. They are trying to sell the fact that they are on the cutting edge of medicine - even if the doctor has been out of medical school for thirty years now. Doctors and medical facilities need to update their image more often than most.

At the local QT Quick Trips they elevate the floors by a foot, behind the counters, where the employees stand by the register. This is done in many establishments. The cameras found in all these places are another tool of the trade. The very presence of a camera is a huge psychological tool. Once one knows one is being filmed or videotaped one is self-conscious and behaves more reserved. This is the natural reaction to the visible presence of a camera. Schools now install dummy cameras on the grounds just to try and coax better behavior from their students.

Markets have been remodeling themselves a lot in the past five years, now that Wal-mart and others cut into their market share heavily. They can't compete with the Wal-mart business model on their terms. They instead are moving upscale, trying to create a more pleasurable experience. Tiled floors, gourmet produce sections and a Starbucks - built in. Just like bookstores, the folks losing market share to the discount monoliths have to redesign their facilities to convey "class" and justify their higher prices.

Everywhere.

Exploitation is going on everywhere.

If you had read some of the massively cynical & exploitive stuff I have had to over the years, you would be wary too and this stuff would jump out to you the same way a pregnant woman sees other pregnant women almost everywhere she goes. Some of these folks doing this exploitation aren't very nice people and use their knowledge of human nature to more 'evil' ends.

So be happy you can still enjoy all these things around you. I've been given the tour behind the curtains and so I keep lifting them to let others have a peek - and a different perspective.

;-)