I had to share these from my e-mail:

I have a question...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea....
does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
I thought about how mothers feed
their babies with tiny little spoons and forks,
so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks.?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps
so the mailman can look for them when he delivers the mail....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
Is it true that you never really
learn to swear until you learn to drive?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice...
When you put the two words
'The' and'IRS' together, it spells.......................
'THEIRS'?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*