Betty Worthingon, Global Press International, December 22, 2010

Al Qaeda Files as Non-Profit Corporation

In a spectacular strategic move, Al Qaeda, the infamous international terror organization has filed for tax-exempt corporate non-profit status as a religious organization. The attorney for Al Qaeda, Abu Kalb has filed the papers today in New York. GPI was able to obtain an exclusive interview with Mr Kalb, a portion of which is shown here.

GPI: Mr Kalb, this seems like a strange step for a terrorist organization to take.

Kalb: Not at all. The Palestine Liberation Organization and Hezbollah have both made similar filings in other countries, such as Lebanon and Saudi Arabia. Al Qaeda was simply slow in seeing the advantages of corporate status.

GPI: Who are the officers of this corporation?

Kalb: The President is Osama Bin Laden. Treasurer is Mustafa Ahmed al-Hawsawi. Recording Secretary is Khalid Shaikh Muhammad, now being held illegally.

GPI: What are the reasons behind this move?

Kalb: Very simply, there are numerous advantages in being a tax-exempt organization. Look at how far Scientology has gotten using that ploy. Al Qaeda will now be in the telephone book and have an official office in the USA.

GPI: A terrorist organization with an official address in the USA. I have never heard of such a thing.

Kalb: You are way behind the times. The PLO has had such an office for many years. In fact, the PLO has a mission at the UN, in addition to offices in Washington, DC and Detroit.

GPI: Back to the question of reasons, please.

Kalb: First of all, we can collect funds to support Al Qaeda's charitable activities around the world. Because it is a non-profit, its books will be exempt from examination. In addition, the New York address permits Al Qaeda to buy advertising time and file its representative in Washington DC as a lobbyist, to be able to meet with congressmen to show them Al Qaeda's point of view, punctuated with suitcases filled with $100 bills as campaign contributions.

GPI: When does this become effective?

Kalb: It is already effective in the State of New York. The Federal non-profit status will take additional paperwork.

GPI: Well, I must congratulate Al Qaeda for this clever move. Whose idea was it?

Kalb: Whose do you think? Mine, of course.

David F Mayer