This is excerpted from a long, mostly stupid article at msn.com... it's a featured link on MSN Messenger today, or I'd never have noticed it.

I personally despise the kind of male-mocking humor personified by Tim Allan's "Home Improvement", but then humor based on stereotypes - even if "all in fun" or "only kidding", or other lame excuses - has never sat well with me... So: certain phrases in the following piece do not represent my attitudes towards men in general, or male friends of mine in specific. It's posted here for the grains of truth to be found amid the chaff:

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6 signs you're in love

So how do you know that Cupid was up to his old tricks again? Beyond feeling like a bumbling idiot when talking about the object of your affection, here are 6 signs that you're feeling the Big L. Those who are allergic to sappy items, please do not read on, it's going to get messy.

1. You have an uncontrollable desire to be nice and do good deeds. In short, you want to be a better man. The sarcasm dies down, the snide remarks take a vacation, and you start smiling all the time.

2. Taking a cue from the movie Jerry Maguire, you start to feel whole. You start to feel that this person understands you like no one has before, and you start having visions of your children in her eyes. Yes, you feel like Tom Cruise did when he uttered the words, "You -- complete -- me."

3. The damn radio songs. All of a sudden, even Phil Collins starts to make sense to you. You listen to songs differently, understanding their meaning in a way you never thought you could. The worst is yet to come: when a Celine Dion comes on, you don't turn the dial.

4. You feel pangs of pain when you're not close to her. Your heart beats quickly all day, and you find every excuse in the world to blow off your buddies and see her. The longing to be with her is almost like a drug. This is where you start doodling her name everywhere.

5. You start thinking about her not every 5 seconds, but every 2.7 seconds. The other 2.3 seconds are spent on sports, food and sex (with her, of course).

6. Your head used to be planted firmly on your shoulders. But suddenly, everything else becomes secondary to her, and you start doing crazy things you never thought you would ever do. This is where you are likely to buy a Celine Dion album; scary thought, isn't it?

Laugh all you want, but deep down, what we all really want is to feel this way (minus the Celine Dion part). For those lucky enough to feel it, put a sign on your shirt, so the rest of us can point at you and say, "If he can do it, I can too."

And if you want the ultimate test of whether you are in love or not, just remember:

Real love will devastate you.
If love does not shatter you,
You do not know love.

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Score me a perfect 6 out of 6, and to hell with the sign on my shirt: rent me a billboard, start me a web site, buy me a minute of commercial time on the Super Bowl!

But that's not necessary... she knows, and that's all that really counts.

E'

(note:cross-posted from Al's OT board... only because I wanted to put it here yesterday, and it wasn't available yet!)