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Two Nuns
(from my friend Gina, a-way up north in Michigan)

There are two nuns. One nun is very quick with numbers and has come to be known as Sister ‘Mathematical’ (SM). The other nun, for obvious reasons, became known as Sister Logical (SL).

They were on an outing and were returning late from a pleasant picnic at the park. It is getting dark, and the two sisters were still some distance from the convent.

SM: “Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38.5 minutes? I wonder what he wants.”

SL: “Logic dictates, sister. He wishes to rape us.”

SM: “Oh, no! At this pace he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?”

SL: “The only logical thing to do, of course, is to walk faster.”

SM: “But it's not working!”

SL: “Of course it is not working, sister. It is only logical that the man should now walk faster as well.”

SM: “So -- what shall we do?! At this rate he will reach us in 1.3 minutes!”

SL: “The only logical path open to us at this juncture would be to divide our course. You go that way, and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.”

So the two split, with Sister Mathematical turning onto Elm Street, and Sister Logical staying on Main Street. The man quickly decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent, SLightly winded, but unharmed. She paced the foyer, worrying about what might have happened with Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical finally arrives, also winded.

SM: “Sister Logical! Thank heavens you are here! Tell me, what happened!”

SL: “The only logical thing that could happened, sister. It was impossible for the man to follow us both, so he chose to followed me.”

SM: “Yes, yes, I know! ...But what happened then -- after we parted?”

SL: “He was getting closer to me. My only logical option was to run as fast as I could. Logically, the man started running as fast as he could.”

SM: “Yes?! And?!”

SL: “He was taller than I, and stronger too. It was only logical that he should catch up to me.”

SM: “Oh, no! What did you do?!”

SL: “The only logical thing I could do, sister. I lifted my skirt.”

SM: “Oh! And -- what did the man do?!”

SL: “The only logical thing he could do. He pulled down his pants.”

SM: “Oh, no, sister! No! What happened then?!”

SL: “Sister -- isn't it logically clear? A nun with her skirt up can run much faster than a man with his pants down.”

(And those of you who thought it would be dirty, Pray for forgiveness)

Cheers,
Dan