“Ohio Blonde”, from my brother:

There was this blonde feeling so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into Lake Erie. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water, when a handsome young sailor saw her teetering on the edge of the pier, crying.

Taking pity on the young woman, said, "Listen, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you, and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped an arm around her shoulder and added with a wink, "and I'll make you happy, and you can make me happy."

The girl nodded yes through her tears. After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat, along with blankets and food. From then on, every night, he brought her sandwiches, water, wine and fruit, and they would make mad, passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, the Captain discovered her in the life boat.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the he angrily demanded.

"I have an arrangement with one of your sailors," she explained. "I get free food and a trip to Europe. Meanwhile,” she coyly adds, “he's been taking advantage of me -- so to speak." (wink, wink)

"I’ll say he has,” the Captain had to agree. “Hell, lady, this is the Put-In-Bay ferry!"

Dan