From today's Dilbert Short List.

Top 15 Things Programmers Are Least Likely To Say

1. Sure, I'll be happy to throw away six months of work (and pay) so I can add the functions you initially said you didn't want.
- the (programmer) Bill that's rarely paid

2. I think this program should do just what the customer wants, not what we think is cool.
- Jenn-bert, I actually read the specs!

3. Dress down Fridays? I don't think so! We're professionals and should dress as such.
- who lent the pig a helicopter

4. I'm really not interested in discussing the physics of Star Trek with you right now. I've got to get ready for a date.
- PHB Infiltrator

5. I finished the code two weeks ago; I'd just like a little more time to polish the documentation.
- TheWallRoss

6. I'd far rather lie here and snuggle than hack until dawn.
- former coding widow

7. No, thanks - I don't care for Twinkies, Jolt Cola, or Star Trek.
- volupturaptor

8. I wish we could do this in COBOL (or: FORTRAN)!
- Z-bert

9. Yes or No to a Yes or No Question.
- Well.....first......let me tell you..........zzzzz

10. My code could use more comments.
- I don't need job security-Bert

11. Our marketing department is simply genius!
- Rox-bert

12. We've already tested and debugged this for you...
- Papa Lazarou-bert

13. No, I won't bring my technical books on vacation.
- Sherri

14. I guarantee it will work.
- could-should-would-bert

15. IF (what_he_say$=interesting$) THEN BEGIN SET heck:=frozen_over; SET pigs:=airborne; SET me:=Queen_of_Sheba; GOTO the_top_of_our_stairs; END.
- In remission