1. ET will finally make contact. They will stay about 15 minutes, leave and never return.

2. India and Pakistan will resolve the Kashmir issue by realizing that neither of them really care a whit about Kashmir. By popular vote they will rejoin the British Empire. Blair will be named Viceroy.

3. France and Belgium will adopt the dollar as their legal currency and apply for U.S. statehood.

4. UBL will hide out in Bolivia disguised as a woman and Bill Clinton will disappear in the S.A. jungle seeking the ultimate conquest and a legacy.

5. Dennis will admit she is Lindy and post a nude picture on the Album.

6. Israel will take my advice and relocate to S. Dakota

7. Syria and Jordan will occupy the territory that was Israel and deny the Palistinians a homeland. Message from King of Jordan to Arrafat: Gotcha!

8. Disney will begin construction of a Holy Land theme park in S.D.

9. Tom Daschle will relocate to NY and marry Hillary

10. The U.N. will unanimously agree that the U.S. has been right all along and pledge to take our advice from now on.