Subject: A Few Zen Thoughts For Those Who Take
Life Too Seriously

- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

- A day without sunshine is like, night.

- On the other hand, you have different
fingers.

- I just got lost in thought. It was
unfamiliar territory.

- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on
the spot.

- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad
name.

- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a
parallel universe.

- Honk if you love peace and quiet.

- Remember, half the people you know are below
average.

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

- Depression is merely anger without
enthusiasm.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the
second mouse gets the cheese.

- I drive way too fast to worry about
cholesterol.

- Support bacteria. They're the only culture
some people have.

- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your
week.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a
bad memory.

- Change is inevitable, except from vending
machines.

- Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a
great trade!

- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

- Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

- If you think nobody cares, try missing a
couple of payments.

- How many of you believe in telekinesis?
Raise my hand...

- OK, so what's the speed of dark?

- How do you tell when you're out of invisible
ink?

- If everything seems to be going well, you
have obviously overlooked
something.

- When everything is coming your way, you're in
the wrong lane.

- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness
pays off now.

- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some
just don't have film.

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to
buy her friends?

- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.

- What happens if you get scared half to death
twice?

- I used to have an open mind but my brains
kept falling out.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.

- Why do psychics have to ask you for your
name?