<It was the first day of school, and a new student by the name of Mitsuo Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the 4th grade classroom. With attendance taken, the teacher turned to her class for a quick oral quiz in American history.

"Class. Let us begin today with a quick review. Who was it who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

Before was a vast sea of blank stares -- with one lone exception. Young Mitsuo was waving his had in the air.

"Yes, Mitsuo?"

"That was Patrick Henry," he said. "1775."

"Well, very good! Yes, it was." She looked to her other students. "Who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, the only response was from Suzuki.

"Abraham Lincoln, 1863," he called.

The teacher was looking very cross to her students. "Class, you should be ashamed. Mitsuo, who came to this country of ours only this year, seems to know more about our history than you."

There was a hissed whisper of anger.

"Screw the Japs..."

"Alright! Who said that?" she demanded to know.

Mitsuo Suzuki's hand shot into the air. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a riled student near the back of the class was heard to mutter, "I think I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared at this. "Now, who said that?"

Again, Suzuki waved to the teacher. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious with the kid's apparent one-upmanship, another student got to his feet and drew back his fist, yelling, "Oh, yeah?! Well, suck this!"

Suzuki jumped out of his seat, again waving a hand to his teacher, shouting out, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

With a near-mob hysteria, another boy warned, "You little shit! If you say, so help me I'll kill you!"

Suzuki frantically yelled, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

At this point, the teacher fainted, collapsing to the floor. In shocked dismay, the kids gathered around the fallen instructor.

"Holy, shit..." one of them murmured. "We're in bi-i-ig trouble now!"

To which Suzuki responded, "The Taliban! 2001."

From Jillia, and ex-coworker of mine,
Dan